Today I was asked, “What is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to you?” Since I’ve been on planet earth for more than half a century, it took me awhile to contemplate my answer. Because of my profession as a group exercise instructor as well as a personal trainer, I have received my fair share of words of kindness and appreciation. But honestly, I think is the words “you make the world a better place” which struck me to my core and made me want to live up to that expectation.
After musing on my answer, I directed the same question to my beloved spouse of 40 years. His answer took me by surprise because the kindest words he can recollect, he actually spoke to himself. For most of his life he has struggled with negative self-talk. Because he grew up in a home where flaws, mistakes, imperfections of any kind were frowned upon and even highlighted in an attempt to impose shame – he was definitely not his own best friend. His self-driven perfectionistic tendencies impacted his perception of his own abilities. Since his childhood message was deeply embedded in his psyche that nothing he ever did was good enough, he carried that narrative into his adult life.
He relayed his new realization to me. His internal struggle to understand his incessant need to “beat himself up” drove him to seek out solutions. He studied and practiced CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy); he listened to self-help audio books and applied learned tools. And while all of those things were small pieces of the puzzle, his most recent attitude change came with a very poignant “note to self.”
The kindest words my husband ever heard? “It’s OK, no one is perfect. Everyone is flawed and everyone makes mistakes, let go of the past and just live your best life today.” These are the words he spoke to himself when he chose to be his own best friend.
Perhaps we could all benefit and improve our emotional intelligence if each of us began with speaking kind words to ourselves first. Note to self? Today I’m going to be my own best friend. The kindest words indeed!
This article was written by a guest blogger. The opinions expressed here are those of the writer and do not reflect the opinions of Bob Lacey, Sheri Lynch or the Bob & Sheri show.
The Zen Den
Hello and welcome to The Zen Den. My name is Alison and while I am passionate about many things, my most inspiring driving force is human connection. Blogger, content writer, orthopedic exercise specialist, motivational speaker, international yoga pro, published songwriter, avid poker player, mom and wife are just a few of my titles. But when I do my job at NASA, I am known simply as “The Fairy Zenmother” a role I deeply love because people invite me into their space to help them find their center, relax and stretch their muscles and destress their mind. Here in the blogosphere version of The Zen Den, I invite you into my world where I will explore ideas for creating a better tomorrow and a kinder today. And hopefully, with insight, authenticity and humor; my words, observations and experiences will help you feel calm, centered, intellectually challenged and spiritually enlightened. Alternatively, if you have something you would like to see covered in The Zen Den, just let me know. Your feedback is welcome and valuable to the success of this blog. Finally, my heart is filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to share with all of you.
