You only have to spend a few moments perusing your Facebook newsfeed to observe the heightened reactive state many of us are living in. Post a picture of Obama or Trump and watch the nuclear explosion of verbal combat hold your personal page hostage. We are not just opinionated; many of us are easily triggered and ready to pounce on the naïve who dare to traverse the minefield of nuance and voice of balance.
Why so much anger, vitriol and loathing? Psychologists would tell us that all of these negative emotions are often masking an inner narrative of fear or the uncertainty and confusion about the state of our country and humanity as a whole. Not allowing ourselves to feel weak and vulnerable, we choose instead to project an image of confidence. We act out against a story which makes us feel personally threatened.
“While we may not be able to control the shifting sands under our feet – we can damn sure hold on to our views, opinions and beliefs!” Think how many times we’ve heard people rant “this is MY America!” It is in that self-centered, staunch state of mind – we become the master of our own narrative and at that point, it doesn’t matter whether our story is factually based in reality or conspiratorial conflated by myths – it becomes our identity.
Why? Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher and best-selling author puts it this way:
“Every ego confuses opinions and viewpoints with fact. Every ego is a master of selective perception and distorted interpretation. Only through awareness-not through thinking-can you differentiate between fact and opinion.” Beyond the realm of simple and verifiable facts, the certainty that “I am right and you are wrong” is a dangerous thing in personal relationships as well as in interactions between nations, tribes, religions and so on.”
So here we are living in a time of shared turmoil when in times past, would have united us – but now we find ourselves dangerously divided, living triggered and fueled for retaliation. From something as seemingly logical as wearing a protective mask during a worldwide pandemic to taking sides over how to protect our children from this insidious virus – people are drawing lines in the sand and arming themselves with hate speech.
How do we heal this divide?
When there is a gaping void of a unifying voice, one that lifts us all up and reminds us that we are the same people who came together on 9/11, who sheds light on our common values rather than stirs us up with tribal taunts of “us versus them” – now more than over, it is up to us.
You and I are going to have to MOVE from the left and MOVE from the right and meet each other in the middle to have sane, civil, respectful conversations. We can no longer afford to wait for someone to lead us and inspire us to unite.
If we are going to have the reality of America the Beautiful, not just in our topography but in our collective heart and soul – we each have to be willing to step outside of our ego long enough to hear a different voice than our own. I believe we got what it takes!